The poppy and the bee, walk, session with H, fall from grace , walk and tea in the park, wine , scents, flovours

Sun shining, back from my morning walk around the lake , I felt glad that I was able to drag myself out there .

Delights on the way ...... a cluster of poppies at the side of the road .. one seemed to be nodding and bowing , the rest were still. Then I see a bumble bee, buzzing and dancing around the poppy, sort of having a dancing conversation with the one poppy. Magic. For this moment of beauty , I am truly grateful.

Fell off the bus yesterday and hurt my knee- right knee of course . Falling off didn’t upset me as much as my own clumsiness and how it must have looked to the people on the bus . I am embarrassed at the thought of them laughing at me or even feeling sorry for me or their judgement... as if they care . I am still carrying this around with me.

10:00 I don’t feel like walking around the lake just now . It is cold and cloudy and my knee is throbbing . I have a good excuse.

Walking to the cafe in the park from the bus stop was surreal. Everything so green and lush. I walked as if in a dream whilst still aware of the pain in every step. Mushrooms everywhere though not the edible kind. Must be a good year for mushrooms. I hear my mother's voice .. to her it would be almost a sin not to go mushroom picking, but then, I am lazy , I prefer to buy them in the shop.

Yesterday was altogether a happy day of bright warm sunshine and also a sudden shower of rain. An experiential day. A day of imporvised spontaneity , of going with the flow , of accepting and dealing with the consequences.

A cup of tea and a big yummy cardemon bun ...mmmmmm..delight .. while recording some thoughts and insights from my session with H.

Money and talents
Goals and time
Work of self-realisation is the way .
Control, loss of control.
Experiencing the Wound of Non- Being.
Childhood dream about being borning....incarnating.
The experience of loss of control in childbirth .. the transition phase....evokes other memories and experiences.

Delights ... a glass of well chilled Californian white wine , bean salad and pasta with prawns.

Scents.. spicy fragrances... soaps, bath oils , room perfume sprays

Eating home made icecream - two soops - chocolate mint and Italian vanilla ... on the way to the train ..sitting on the platform... savouring this treat while watching the sun set over the castle .... thinking one scoop would have been enough .....what an indulgance ...excess ... and why ?

Walked home slowly .. there is no need to rush.